She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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