can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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