You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
