i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So vagazzling was a success
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