.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
