Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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