i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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