If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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