dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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