Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
