is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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