Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
