after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We're too hungover to prance.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
