butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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