he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
