May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Randomize