it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
