I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize