well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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