Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize