So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
