yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
