I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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