As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
