I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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