Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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