I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
