just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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