so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
