sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
