I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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