wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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