he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
