I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
