...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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