Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
