I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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