Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Screwed.edu
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
