I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
