that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
