Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
