I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
And then he peed in my hair
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