I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
