Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
