I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
