remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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