I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
