I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
