at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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