would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
