Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
