I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
