I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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