dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
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We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
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I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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