Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize