After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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