I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
