She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
