I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
