Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she peed on how many people?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize