i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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