Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
...so i touched it.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
