Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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